We all want a healthy and strong relationship with our romantic partners, but how do we do that? When you start your first relationship, no one hands you a guidebook on how to be a good partner. For most of us it’s trial and error with a few major heartbreaks along the way. But there is one thing I wish I had known way back when: relationships take intentional maintenance and hard conversations. These conversations aren’t always easy but they will make your relationship stronger and healthier if you are compatible partners. Heck, they can also help you understand if you even are compatible partners! The best part? You can do this with only 18 questions and an hour of your time.
When you’re done reading this post, you’ll be ready to have your first Relationship Check-In with your partner. I suggest you do these check-ins monthly but you can schedule them as often as you like. My partner and I do our check-in a day or so after our monthly anniversary so we don’t forget! You could even start with more frequent check-ins and space them our further as time goes on. All up to you but what’s important is that you have them scheduled and you adhere to that schedule! So sit down with your partner and determine a time and date that works best for you.
Your first check-in will probably be longer so set aside an evening to go through the questions with your partner. You can even plan something fun for after your check-in, like watch a movie or have a treat together! If you work hard you should get to play hard too.
Communication doesn’t come easy for everyone. These questions might stir up some feelings in you and/or your partner around connection, intimacy, energy, and insecurity. It could help to start off your session with a statement that you both agree on, such as, “We are starting this conversation out of love and respect to ensure we are our happiest and healthiest selves in this relationship.” Whatever makes sense to you! You can always take breaks, table a topic, or ask to resume at a different time. Always end your check in with some sweetness and affirmations because who doesn’t need more of those??
Alright, if you’ve made it this far you’re all set for your first check in! If you’re ready to check out the list of questions, click here to get the questions right to your inbox where you can copy the spreadsheet to use yourself or download in whatever format you want. To copy the google sheet, click FILE > Make a Copy and you will have access to your own blank Google Sheet. Enjoy those convos!
